Month: January 2018

I’m a bit of a romantic at heart. When I read books as a child I considered it inevitable that if I looked hard enough, I would find the love of my life. However, I’ve come to realize that The Princess Bride was not too far off when it speaks of how rare true love is – where two truly love each other. Life isn’t simple and love is even more difficult still. I’ve already written about what I believe are key factors that can be used when evaluating a partner. This isn’t an addendum as much as a warning.

I think the actual word love is probably overused. When I look back on the girls I dated, love can and has been used facetiously to describe all different levels of attraction. These levels of attraction where I’ve used the word love fall in the following range: general attraction (no contact) – acquaintance – friends – good friends – dated – friends with benefits- infatuated – “true” Love. And just to distinguish between the last 3, “true” Love is essentially those 3 combined along with two key factors: The person is your muse (inspires you, makes you want to be the best version of yourself), and the other key factor is selflessness. Selflessness isn’t just, I would die for you (which is likely to never be tested), it’s about your time, your money, your happiness. This “selflessness” has its own reward that you are happy knowing they are happy, regardless of what happens to you. But, this selflessness is also what makes one so vulnerable.

While I’ve had many infatuations, I’ve only had two loves and neither one worked out. The older I’ve gotten, I’ve been able to see more and more examples of what likely would have happened had I “won” over these girls when they didn’t truly love me in return.